another eventful day, but only a couple of doctor visits, but no more bad news. i'm having radiotherapy tomorrow to ease the pain on my left shoulder, that will give me a bit more mobility and quality of life straight away. radiotherapy is the least toxic and dangerous treatment of all for cancer and more money should be spent towards this area. i'm happy to go ahead with this treatment. There is a long story about my radiotherapy doctor. he is one in a million!!!! can't wait to tell you in my new post.
Gary, i've been imagining the movie and laughing about it all day. i bet it must have jumped to your head as you were reading. give me a few years, i'll walk again and we will make a movie. you can cast Jojo and Moh. Actually ZA, you will have to cast Moh. i tell you what he is slowly edging towards this diet having a few sips of green juice, i don't think apple pies will ever go off menu, nor the pint and a late curry. but all the exercise he is doing running around the golf course looking for his balls, he'll burn that off easy!
Moh gave me a hair cut in bed, followed by my nurse giving me a bed bath, i feel so good. brand new. a new physiotherapist came to see me today, she was good, we did some stretching, help me sit on the bed etc, just sitting upright on the bed was enough to make my day brighter. how the smallest of things make me so happy right now. i felt very tired afterwards, slept for a bit.
i'm taking every hour as it comes now, some moments of sadness, back tracking, looking back and wondering, but then i jump out of it. there is no point of thinking like that. what was so good about Hippocrates was the notion of NOW and then HOPE for the future. we must behave like mountain river (not sure what the right name is), fresh water keep flowing, the minute we stop, we become stagnated, we'll end up smelling, like i did before i had my bed bath : ). in a way being in hospital does that, specially when you're being told bad news after bad news, not only physically you're hit, mentally you're being tortured. i'm not saying for a second it's done with bad intentions, but it's how it makes me feel.
So i'm focusing on NOW, and i'm getting more positive by the minute. You are all part of this healing, your comments are helping me every step of the way. As i said, it's difficult to reply to everyone as there is so much to say in reply, a delicious RAW food dinner evening perhaps. I really want to go on your blogs and others, learn from your experiences, i just don't seem to find the time.
i seem to have so much to do, the list doesn't stop.
i will make an extra effort this weekend.
i'm not having any visitors either as i don't have the energy. this is my time. my blog is my healing and communication gateway right now. it's sit alongside my meditation.
i was thinking about a joke today. i fancy hearing a good joke. tomorrow is Friday, let's have a joke blog day, something we can share at the weekend. i wana tell the doctors or whoever comes in here. come on, let's see who's got the best jokes. i know Ardy has a lot of jokes, but some really bad ones! Arash, this is your time boy. disabled jokes are also welcomed. it can't be said i'm discriminating, can it?
love you all, and so grateful for your support.
to life force
reza
i totally forget, i was having chemo today, it finished around 8 tonight. i don't feel any different, no sickness. for sure we must be friends. come on buddy, let's kill some cancer cells. life force is all around you, helping you and watching you. in and out, it's a deal. we do the job together, you get out and life force and i will clear up. don't leave anything behind. we'll see you in 21 days. safe journey and thank you.
34 comments:
In honour of Laugh Force, I proudly submit . . . . . . .
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"
So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I Understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit."
. . . . maybe it's really not that funny :)
lashings of laughter and love
Gary
Here goes:
THE 6 BEST SMART ARSED ANSWERS OF 2007
SMART ARSED ANSWER 6
It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane: 'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in the front row.
'What are my choices?' the man asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.
SMART ARSED ANSWER 5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without blinking an eyelid she said, 'Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub.'
SMART ARSED ANSWER 4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a branch of Sainsbury's store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, they're dead.'
SMART ARSED ANSWER 3
The policeman got out of his car, and the boy he stopped for speeding, rolled down his window.
'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop said.
The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.' When the policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a
ticket.
SMART ARSED ANSWER 2
A truck driver was driving along on a country road.
A sign came up that read ' Low Bridge Ahead.' Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got stuck under it.. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The policeman got out of his car and walked to the truck's cab, and said to the driver, "Got stuck, eh?"
The truck driver said, 'No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas!'
#1 SMART ARSED ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2007
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'
I hope you got a chuckle out of these.
Laughter is THE best medicine!
Love,
Nadereh
Cant remember a single joke right now but...
You are being so remarkable i am in awe..
Hold onto all that hope & positivity, so much healing is pouring into your body on so many levels & so much love & support is coming your way... let it all in...
let it heal & restore you
deep peace to you
kate
A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.
The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."
So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.
The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.
They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."
They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.
On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.
There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman !!
Just been reading your blog - you are incredibly spirited Reza...keep on writing.
My input into joke day: What do you call a donkey with three legs?
Wonky.
xxx
Heh Reza,
I was sent this yesterday and laughed.;)
A man walks into a fish and chip shop with a fish
under his arm. "Do you have any fishcakes?" he asks.
"Yes, of course," says the fish shop owner.
"Great," replies the man, nodding at the fish under
his arm, "It's his birthday."
you know i like cheese...
keep strong.
Jamie.
Za's joke;
A welshman walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says "darling, this is the pig I've been sleeping with every time you have a headache".
His wife replies "you idiot, that's not a pig, that's a sheep".
The husband replies, "i think you'll find I wasn't talking to you".
Little Georgia's joke;
What did one picture say to the other?
"How's it hanging?"
One more from me;
A chap walks into his doctor's surgery stark naked and wrapped in cling film.
The doctor looks him up and down for a second and says, "I can clearly see your nuts".
Hope you haven't fallen out of bed laughing?!
Za
A woman gets on a bus with her baby. As she pays for her ticket, the bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen. Ugh!"
The woman sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The man says: "You shouldn't take that. You tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey."
he he he
Reza,
I have always been proud to have you as my brother. However, you have taken that to a new level that I never knew existed. You never cease to amaze me with your attitude. You are a true warrior. Keep up the positivity and here's my contribution to Joke Day. (What a great idea that is by the way.)
A stranger was seated next to Little Tommy on the plane when the stranger turned to the boy and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
Little Tommy, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, and said to the stranger, "What would you like to discuss?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," said Little Tommy. "That could be an interesting topic." But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
"Jeez," said the stranger. "I have no idea."
"Well, then," said Little Tommy, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"
There were three old black ladies getting ready to take a plane across the ocean. The first lady said, "I don't know bout y 'all, but I'm gunna wear me somehot pink panties beefo I gets on dat plane."
"Why you gonna wear dem fo?"the other two asked.
The first lady replied, "Cause, if dat plane goes down and I'm out dare laying butt-up in a cornefield, dey gonna find me first."
The second lady said, "Well, I'm a-gonna wear me some flooresant orange panties."
"Why you gonna wear dem?" the others asked.
The second lady answered, "Cause if dis hareplane is goin' down and floating butt-up in the oshun, dey can see me first."
The third old lady says, "Well, I'm not going to wear any panties....."
"What? No panties?" the others asked in disbelief.
"Dat's right, you heard me. I'm not wearing any panties," the third ladysaid, "cause if dis plane goes down, honey dey always look for da black box first."
(No offence meant - Apologies if a little rude but I'm sure all visitors to this site are over 15.)
While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. "What's in the bags?", asked the guard.
"Sand," said the cyclist.
"Get them off - we'll take a look," said the guard.
The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border.
Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear.
A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. "Say friend, you sure had us crazy", said the guard. "We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won't say a word - but what is it you were smuggling?"......."Bicycles!"
Hi Reza! Hope I'm not too late for joke day... if so just take this as an indication of how important punctuation is!....
A boss has to make two members of staff redundant to cut costs. He cannot choose between Debra and Jack, so decides to lay off whoever comes in first the next morning. Debra comes in with a dreadful hangover from the night before and crawls to her desk. Boss says, "I need to lay you or Jack off". Debra says, "Can you jack off, I feel like shit today"!
Love and hugs from Kate, Vicki and Emily. And Grandma (who played no part in the joke!!!)
Yay!!! At last I figure out how to post here!!!
Rez, my blonde "ditsyness" is surely a joke in itself!?! Have left messages on Facebook for you too so this can be an amalgamation and repeat of all... Plus a joke which if does not make you laugh you can at least still laugh at its crapness! He he!
A Year in the life of a blonde.....
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter
March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets
June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms
August - Got locked out of car in rain ....car now ruined, because top was down
September - The capital England is "E".....isn't it
October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108
December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone
What a year!!
Funny???? I must admit I dont get the Kool Aid bit! Must be an American thing?!
Anyway, also just want to say I'm super proud of you Mr! You are so positive, you have always been someone I look up to but now more so than ever. You are a complete inspiration and have had huge impact on my life (Even though you think I never liten to you!), I promise I have and I do! You have always believed in me and I more than believe in you , youre such a trooper!
Also bit of a baby update... Not sure when I last gave you an update but we found out we are having a little GIRL! Can you believe it? Im so excited! She is due on the 20th so I only have a couple of weeks to go! I have started to have lots of little twinges which is making her arrival seem so much more real! Im not really scared of labour now, just excited! Having a home birth, which lots of people have opinions on as you can imagine! Have been doing lots of antenatal classes including Pregnancy Yoga and meditation techniques, have a homeopathic labour kit, private midwife, birthing pool and other pain relief (Gas and air is my naughty bit!) So as long as all goes to plan little Lola (thats going to be her name) should be born at home in our Kitchen day room with the sunshine shining in from the graden! Lovely!
Anyway, lots happening and the anticipation is killing me! What will she look like? Will she be healthy? What will labour be like? And loads more............
Keep up the amazing positive attitude Sugar!
Massive Hugs and Kisses
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
The big chimney says to the little chimney:
"Aren't you too young to smoke?"
I once had 'One2One' with a 'Virgin', she teased me till i had an 'Erikson', sucked me til my face went 'Orange', til I busted my 'Siemen' all over her 'Nokias'...!
Reza Jan,
A couple of Laughter Force entries, hope it makes you chuckle. I was sat on the train reading other entries today, Za’s joke about the ugly baby made me laugh really loud and turn some heads. Remember the way we used to turn heads at clubs in Bournemouth ;-)
----------
A duck walks into a pub, jump son the tool then onto the bar and asks the bar tender, “have you got any grapes?” The barman replies, “no we don’t have grapes”
The next day, the Duck returns to the pub, jumps on the tool and then onto the bar and asks the bar tender, “have you got any grapes?”. The barman replies, “look here I’ve already told you, we don’t have any grapes” and escorts the duck out of the pub.
Next day the Duck returns and as before, jumps onto the stool and then the bar and asks the barman if he has any grapes. The barman is no longer finding this assuming and says, “look here little ducky, I’ve already told you we have no grapes, now if you come back again I will have to nail your little webbed feet into the ground!” he then throws the little duck out of the pub.
Next day the Duck is back again, hops onto the stool and then on the bar and asks the barman,
“Do you have any nails?”, the barman says, “no! we have no nails”, the Duck replies, “ok, have you got any grapes?”
-----------------
I had to cypher through douzens of rude jokes in the back of my head to find one that was innocent!
I’ve spent this week on a Six Sigma Black Belt and also Creative and Lateral Thinking training course. I learnt some really useful tools and structured approach to make people think outside of their normal thinking patterns. It is based on cognitive theory and increases chances of generating new ideas. Would love to tell you about it sometime, you will love it but then again you have the most amazing mind and no shortage of great ideas. The work is by Edward De Bono if your interested to google it.
Anyway, the training instructor was a really sound guy called Mike Sproul and he used the following story to reinforce some of the learnings. It’s true, it has been tested by Psychiatrists (or similar profession) and made us all laugh.
For me it also draws parallels to the situation in which you have found yourself, the advise and verdit you have been given by doctors, who want to do their best but don’t know what they don’t know. Thoughts and views channelled by years of study and practice of medicine, not holistic healing. Here's the story the trainer told us:
-------------
THE PRIMATE COMMITTEE THINKING EXPERIMENT
Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long an
ape will go to the stairs and start to climb toward the banana.
As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt
with the same results – all the apes are sprayed with cold water.
Turn off the cold water.
If, later, another ape tries to climb the stairs, the other apes will try to prevent it even though no water is sprayed.
Now, remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The New ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five apes and replace it with a new one.
The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm!
Again, replace a third of the original apes with a new one. The new one makes to the stairs and is attacked as well.
Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.
After replacing the fourth and fifth of the original apes, all apes which have been sprayed with cold water have been replaced.
Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs. Why not?
“Because that’s the way it’s always been done around here!”
Sound familiar?
--------------
all my hope and prayers,
lots of love
Ardy
OK
What is twenty foot long and stinks of wee???
Old people doing the conga!
(sorry!)
NEXT.......
A woman goes to her boyfriend's parents' house for Christmas dinner.
This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness
and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.
Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets
out a dainty fart.
It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the poof. Before
she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked
over at the dog that had been snoozing under the woman's chair, and said
in a rather stern voice, 'Skippy!'.
The woman thought, 'This is great!' and a big smile came across her face.
A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
This time, she didn't
even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer
rrrrrip.
The father again looked at the dog and yelled, 'Dammit Skippy!' Once
again the woman smiled and thought 'Yes!' A few minutes later the woman
had to let another rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She
let a fart rip that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, 'Dammit
Skippy, get away from her, before she shits on you!'
OH DEAR - my jokes are honestly better when I tell them?!?!?!
Emma xxxxxxxxxx
Hi Reza,
Off to Madeira on another holiday tomorrow, this time with gregells (our term of endearment for Peter!) Wish me luck!!!
Jade and I will be doing a "Living Foods" workshop on the 15th May so looking forward to preparing you some scrumptious meals. Maybe we can arrange a "Life Force" Dinner?
Do you really think we can convince Moh about the benefits of this diet. I bet he sneaks off for the odd burger. I am taking wheatgrass powder, I know its not as good as fresh, what do you think.
See you when i get back. lots of love
Frances xx
Here´s some jokes from Tiana and I, posted with big smiles and lots of love.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
Nice belt
How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?
I don´t know but it has to really want to change
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk
A man walks out of the doctors surgery smiling "He´s given me 6 months to live"
"Why you so happy then?" asks his friend
"Well initially he only gave me 3, but when I told him I couldn´t afford his fee, he gave me another 3"
Reza Joon,
I'm not sure if "Joke Day" is still going on - maybe you should've called it "Joke Everyday" -but here's another one:
Taken for a ride!
In a train compartment, there are 3 men and a ravishing young woman. The four passengers join in conversation, which very soon turns to the erotic.
Then, the young girl proposes, "If each of you will give me $1, I will show you my legs."
The men, charmed by this young woman, all pull a buck out of their wallets. And so she pulls up her dress a bit to show her legs.
Then she says, "If each of you gentlemen will give me $10, I will pull my dress a bit higher and show you my thighs." And men, being what they are, they all pull out a ten dollar bill.
The girl pulls up her dress all the way to her undies. Conversation continues, and the men, a bit hot and excited, have all taken off their coats.
Then the young woman says, "If each of you will give me $100, I will show you where I was operated on for appendicitis."
Naturally, all three fork over the money. She turns to the window and points to a hospital in the distance and says, "There!" as the train whizzes by at top speed.
Was that worth a chuckle? I Hope!
Much love and postive thoughts,
Nadereh
Hi Rez, just caught up with the last few days of your blog. I think you are amazing. And wow, what a way with words. A potential author, Another string to your bow. Keep that spirit of yours up and keep smiling. Thinking of you and sending you my love. Gemmaxxx
Rez, just been reading all your jokes posted, very funny. Especially Katies Streets, she sounds lovely, so relate to her and if you are reading this katie, I wish you all the best with your pregnancy and keep focused, with the meditation and yoga which will get you through even though there maybe times when you doubt it, just get back in the zone. Endorphines are such a powerful thing that your own natural body creates and is the biggest high you can feel. I have had 3 babies, 2 epidurals and 1 through meditation and yoga. Big baby, 9lb 13 but was the best birth by far as you are in control. Keep the gas and air with you, you may need that at certain points. Good luck ,wish you a good happy healthy birth. xx
Dear Reza,
I am writing on behalf of Aae and myself.
We have only met a couple of times, the christening of Leila and Tina’s subsequent marriage to Ardy.
We were both very sorry to hear about your cancer and the tough time it is causing you.
However having read your blog and experienced the amazing courage and toughness you are showing we can see that you are certainly giving the cancer a tough time and are sure you will beat it.
I am sending you three of the poems I have written. Hopefully you will enjoy then. Let me know and I will send you some others.
Love Robin and Aase Carter
THE UNEXPECTED HITS YOU LIKE A BOLT FROM THE BLUE,
ALL SEEMS DARK AND DESPERATE TO YOU,
TRIAL AND TROUBLE STRAINS THE HEART,
WEARINESS SETS IN, WHERE CAN YOU BEGIN.
YOU FOUND THE ENERGY TO LIFT YOUR SPIRITS,
THE ENERGY TO FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE,
FIGHT THE TERROR YOU HAVE FELT,
YOU TURNED THE ENEMY FROM WITHIN,
YOU TURNED YOUR LIFE AROUND,
LIFE HAS A NEW MEANING,
YOU HAVE A NEW BEGINING,
---------------------
REMEMBER WHEN ALL SEEMS LOST,
ALL SEEMS SO HOPELESS AND FORLORNE,
THE DAY SEEMS LIKE NIGHT AND NIGHT IS DARKNESS,
LOOK FOREWARD, THERE'S A SHAFT OF LIGHT,
CUTTING, SHINING ON A CORNER,
WHAT IS ROUND THE CORNER, YOU WILL NEVER KNOW,
YOU BEGIN TO WALK TOWARDS THE CORNER - HOPE.
YOU GATHER STRENGTH ALONG THE JOURNEY,
HOW LONG IS THE ROAD, HOW MUCH TIME WILL IT TAKE,
NOBODY KNOWS, LEAST OF ALL YOU.
YOU WILL, ARRIVE AT THE CORNER,
FEAR NOT WHAT IS ROUND THE CORNER,
THE CORNER IS YOUR LIFE,
MANY A CORNER YOU WILL TURN.
WHAT ARE THESE CORNERS, YOU MAY WELL ASK,
ARE THEY THE FOUR CORNERS OF THE EARTH,
ARE THEY THE FOUR CORNERS OF A ROOM,
NO, THEY ARE JUST THE CORNERS,
THE CORNERS AT THE END OF THE ROAD,
THEY ARE ALL THE SAME,
THEY ARE THE CORNERS OF LIFE.
YOU HAVE TO GET TO THEM TO TURN THEM,
TO FIND WHAT YOU ARE SEARCHING FOR,
SOME SHARP AS A BLADE, SOME GENTLE AS A DEER,
ALL THE SAME THEY NEED TO BE TURNED.
BE BOLD, HAVE NO FEAR, BE STRONG,
BELIEVE IN YOURSELF, BELIEVE IN LIFE,
BELIEVE IN TURNING THE CORNERS,
BELIEVE IN THE JOY THAT LIES BEYOND.
---------------------------
As far as jokes are concerned then hope you enjoy these two.
Three cowboys prospecting in the dry dusty hot desert, decide they would like to see a bit of life and make for the nearest town.
An old timer sitting on a veranda tells them the best place for a drink is the crazy horse salon and they must have the raisin wine.
They find the salon enter and are confronted by the most beautiful and buxsom bar maid they had ever seen.
She says to the first cowboy
“what’ll it be”
“Maam, I guess I’d like a bottle of raisin wine“
She gets out the steps as the wine is on the top shelf and proceeds up them.
The cowboys naturally follow her progress and as she reaches the top , can see she has no knickers on.
Down she comes plonks the bottle on the bar and asks the second cowyboy what’ll yours be
Maaam, I guess I’ll have a bottle of raisin wine too.
Up she goes again, all 3 pairs of eyes follow her .
Comes down plonks the second bottle on the bar.
Looks at the third cowboy, hands on hips swaying gently and says
“and I suppose your’ll be a raisin too”
“Noooh maaaam, just a twitching!”
-----------------------
A reporter has been sent from London to wales to investigate the rumor that the welsh farmers are practicing incest.
He gets to a farm in the valleys and asks the farmer if what he had heard was true.
Ooooh aaarhh yaas it’s true.
Can you tell me then, what do you do.
Weeellll whaat youu do is you put the sheeps back legs into wellies and it’s front legs on the shed and away you go.
Our reporter goes to a further 11 farms and hears the same tale.
On reaching the 13th. Farm the farmer tells him that:-
You put the back legs into wellies and then I put the front legs on my shoulders and away I go.
Now that’s strange says the reporter all the other farmers told me that they put the back legs in wellies and the front legs on the shed.
Oooh thaars no kissing then.
Hi Reza. Let us know how you are, we're all thinking of you and sending you oceans of revitalising life force.
Hi Reza, its Laras mum, Sue, I just want to let you know that I read your blog always. We have only met once, ages ago when I came to pick Lara up from work so you wont remember me (i'm who Lara gets her looks from quite obviously). I just wanted to let you know that we are all thinking of you and your fight, you are an inspiration! Stay strong Reza, lots of love and positivity xxx
Hi Reza,
I'm afraid I don't really know many jokes, mainly because I don't usually get them!
But I haven't written anything for a while...
I would have liked to visit but I know you are not feeling up to visitors at the moment so I am sure I will see you soon when you are out of hospital.
I spent a bit of time with Jade and Moh yesterday and Jade and I were talking about Yegenah and what an amazing person she was. I feel very fortunate to have met her, and although it was only a brief I have never forgotten about her. I was only 15 when I met her and Jade will tell you how much I looked up to her. Despite having lost her hair I remember thinking that one day I would like to be as beautiful as she is. I remember once Jade complaining about me on the phone to her (I was at that annoying teenage age, they will probably say I was always like it!) but instead of agreeing with Jade she asked to talk to me and we had a long chat about life and girly things and she instantly made me feel so much better. I think she was very special, and I don’t doubt that we would have been close friends if she was still alive. You also have been an influential part of my life, and I think I speak for a lot of people when I say that. I was thinking about it the other day when I was at Parkers shop, (I have been helping him out at the weekends) how I have formed some of my closest friends through Criminal and I am eternally grateful for that. I believe we do make our own opportunities but I think you gave a lot of opportunities to a lot of people and we are where we are today because of that. I’m sure you will continue to do that so when you do start your new business what ever it may be, I will be the first to want to work for you again.
I've only left Moh out now! I don't think you could ask for a better brother, you are very very lucky; he cares about you so much. Yesterday seeing him knee high in wheatgrass and sprouts in your kitchen was quite a sight. I also feel very privileged to have Moh as my brother in law. I don’t think I will ever be able to find a husband who will match up to the standards he has set!
I am proud to have you and Moh as part of my family and I’m sure the rest of the Sandhu’s would agree with that too.
Lots of love, thinking of you
Sian xx
Hi Reza,
I have been meaning to post a comment for ages and have been at a loss for words, I have been following your blog faithfully from the beginning and am in total ore of you. I have never come across anyone as brave and determined as you Reza.
Ardy and I have been reading your blog to my parents who are also completely hooked. It has been such an eye opener with the crap we feed ourselves and even worse our gorgeous children. How will I wean Leila and Reza off the dairy products!!!??? I'm trying to switch to Soy Milk first but not successfully with Reza yet, although Leila's a little easier to persuade. I just wanted to thank you so much for sharing all this amazing information with all your blog family (as so many have said) it all makes sense. I pray and send all positive thoughts to you with this next phase you're going through, with your new lease of lifestyle I am sure you'll get through this.
I loved the Joke day on Friday. Ardy, my parents and I were sat at the dinner table reading them out!! really made us laugh especially the ones from Moh and Gary!! brilliant.
Look forward to reading some more soon I hope.
Lots of love to you and life force.
Tina xxx
Hi Reza,
I have been meaning to post a comment for ages and have been at a loss for words, I have been following your blog faithfully from the beginning and am in total ore of you. I have never come across anyone as brave and determined as you Reza.
Ardy and I have been reading your blog to my parents who are also completely hooked. It has been such an eye opener with the crap we feed ourselves and even worse our gorgeous children. How will I wean Leila and Reza off the dairy products!!!??? I'm trying to switch to Soy Milk first but not successfully with Reza yet, although Leila's a little easier to persuade. I just wanted to thank you so much for sharing all this amazing information with all your blog family (as so many have said) it all makes sense. I pray and send all positive thoughts to you with this next phase you're going through, with your new lease of lifestyle I am sure you'll get through this.
I loved the Joke day on Friday. Ardy, my parents and I were sat at the dinner table reading them out!! really made us laugh especially the ones from Moh and Gary!! brilliant.
Look forward to reading some more soon I hope.
Lots of love to you and life force.
Tina xxx
Reza,
Sorry, not quite got the hang of this yet.....I see I've posted my message twice woops!! don't quite get all this new technology still struggle with face book...!
Thinking of you.
Love Tina
A little 8 year old boy wanted to be circumcised when he realized he looked different than dad and his friends. The day after the proceedure he returned to school. During class, he became uncomfortable and asked for permission to go to the nurse. When he arrived at her office, he hesitated and finally just asked if he could call his mother. Sensing this was personal, the nurse stepped into the hall and closed the door to allow him privacy. Several minutes later the little boy came out of her office and the nurse noticed his penis was sticking out of his pants. "Where are you going?" she asked. "Back to class," said the boy. "But you can't go back like that!" explained the nurse. "I have to," stressed the boy. "My mother said that if I could just stick it out until lunchtime, she would come and pick me up."
Fnatastic Joke weekend Reza see you tomorrow Sister B
WhaaaGwaaan??
Hi Reza,
I've just been catching up on your blog.
I'm sorry to hear about the set backs but I'm so impressed by your positive attitude.
You really do amaze me mate.
I just went into the lounge after reading your blog and was thinking about what to write and the snooker was on tele. just as I sat down a streaker (yes streaker as in naked man) jumped up from the audience and ran round the table! How bored must you be watching snooker that you have to strip off your clothes and leg it. ha ha
anyway, just thought I'd share that cos it made me laugh.
so, getting back to the nurses then eh!
What are they like? fit?? ...single?? ha ha
just kidding,
My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian...
there you go, one for the Laugh force files.
I fell in love with Thailand when I went so I've just booked my ticket back. I go in three weeks, cant wait. other than that not much to report I'm afraid.
just been working loads, trying to get things ready for september re-launch. we had some protos come in and they look awsome. An amazing parka, some wicked shirts and brilliant tees of course! I think you're gonna like it.
would like to come and see you now you're back, so when you feel up to visitors then let me know.
Take it easy dude,
keep on keepin on!!
All my love (not in a gay way. ha ha)
D to the G
DIGGIT
Reza joon
Reading your blog, was such a tremendous journey in getting to know my highly intelligent cousin whom I had partly forgotten about and am so glad to have found again. Reza joon you have a terrific personality! What a fantastic guy. I have never known such wonderful character as yours in my life, (though your brother Moh is not much less, you are both beautiful souls). You are so brave and inspirational. My love and continuous prayers are with you every minute of the day. Please if you will, email me to mdjoy66@yahoo.com I have news for you which needs to be discussed privately.
Lots of love,
your late... lost... cousin,
Mojgan
03 May 2008 11:07
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